Using the Language of Love

We express love with words. Knowing the language of love and expressing it in our relations makes for healthy communication. A priest who has been associated with the marriage encounter movement in Seoul for the past 20 years is interviewed by a journalist of the Peace Weekly, and gives us his thoughts in what he has learned during those years.

He introduces us to Gary Chapman a world respected counselor and his  five love languages.  How to  express love to your spouse in the way they will understand. He uses the words: affirm, spend quality time with the spouse, gifts, service, and  physical touch. 

The situation in society with the large number of divorces, suicides, abortions are  signs not all is well in the family. "God's love is manifested through us," he explains, "and when spouses do not feel love,and love is not given to the children we have  tragedy." 

Working with married couples over many years, despite the belief that God has joined them together, they do not feel any love and the relationship is insipid. Husband works, and sacrifices for his wife which is the way he expresses his love, and the wife  would like time  together in which she feels  love, and instead they continue to increase the enmity between them.

This is true in all kinds of relationships when  the language of love is not used; we have all kinds of misunderstandings. The priest with parishioners, and all of us with our interactions with others. The respect and concern for others is not shown or felt.

The Church will have two Synods on the family. Last year we had the Extraordinary Synod and this year we will have the  Ordinary Synod. This coming synod will deal with the ways family life can be strengthened and renewed. 

The factual information has been gathered and now the ways in which the Church can help support the families in a society that is not favorable. What our ME priest is doing is the  concern of many pastoral workers. Father has made a CD on his experiences, which is to help couples strengthen their bond. Pope John  Paul II said: “As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.” These words show the importance of the Synods  for families, and need for work to strengthen families.